How Do I Stop My Anxiety From Affecting My Relationship?

Couple in blue shirts dealing with anxiety issues affecting their relationship

Anxiety doesn’t just affect you. It can creep into the relationships you care about most. You might feel restless, second-guess yourself, or constantly worry about things going wrong. Maybe you’ve noticed you’re overthinking every word your partner says or getting defensive about little things.

Anxiety has a way of making you feel like you’re stuck, and this tension can create misunderstandings, make arguments last longer, or even create distance between you and your partner. That can feel frustrating and make you wonder if there’s a way to stop it.

The good news is you can take steps to manage your anxiety and protect your relationship. This blog will walk you through some practical ways to keep your anxiety in check while staying connected with your partner. These tips are simple but effective and can make a big difference in how you and your partner handle anxiety together.

1) Talk Openly About Your Feelings

Keeping your anxiety to yourself can create more pressure inside you and push your partner away. Instead, try opening up about what you’re feeling. This doesn’t mean you have to unload every anxious thought. Share enough to help your partner understand what’s going on. For example, you can say something like, “I’ve been feeling a little overwhelmed lately,” or “Sometimes, I get stuck worrying about things that haven’t happened.”

When you share your feelings openly, it builds trust and helps your partner feel like they’re part of your support system. It can also prevent misunderstandings. For instance, if your anxiety makes you seem distant or irritable, explaining how you feel allows your partner to see that it’s not them. They might even surprise you by offering support in ways you didn’t expect.

Man covers his face while sitting on the bed due to anxiety

2) Avoid Turning Your Partner Into Your Therapist

While it’s important to share your feelings, expecting your partner to fix your anxiety might strain the relationship. They love you, but they’re not equipped to handle everything you’re going through emotionally. Leaning too heavily on them for reassurance or solutions can leave them feeling overwhelmed or powerless.

Instead, try balancing their support with other tools. You could talk to a trusted friend, practice journaling, or seek professional help. For example, if you’re worried about a situation at work and feel tempted to talk about it endlessly with your partner, pause first. Ask yourself if writing it down or scheduling time with a therapist might help more. By spreading out your sources of support, you protect your relationship from feeling the weight of all your worries.

3) Focus on What’s Happening Right Now

Anxiety can make your mind race ahead to worst-case scenarios or drag you back to past mistakes. This can make it hard to stay fully present in your relationship. For example, during a date or quiet moment with your partner, you might zone out, stuck in thoughts about whether they’re upset or imagining future fights that haven’t happened.

When you notice your anxious thoughts taking over, you can bring yourself back to the present by grounding yourself. One way to do this is by focusing on your senses. Ask yourself, “What can I see, hear, smell, or touch right now?” You can even share these grounding techniques with your partner so they can help you recognize when you’re spiraling. The more you focus on the moment, the more connected you’ll feel to your partner, instead of being distracted by worries.

Couple struggling with anxiety in their relationship hugging

4) Celebrate Small Wins Together

When anxiety is weighing on you, it’s easy to focus on what’s going wrong and forget to notice the good things. This can make your relationship feel heavier than it really is. Take some time to celebrate the small victories, whether they’re about your growth or something that’s going well between you and your partner.

For instance, maybe you got through a tough day without letting your anxiety take over, or you had a great conversation during lunch. Share these moments with your partner and celebrate them together. Saying something like, “I was so proud of how calm I stayed earlier,” invites them to cheer you on and share in your progress. This not only builds positivity in your relationship but also helps you both feel like a team, working through challenges together.

Best Virtual Mental Health Treatment for Anxiety

Anxiety doesn’t have to control your relationships. By talking openly about your feelings, knowing when to rely on outside support, staying grounded in the present, and celebrating positive steps, you can take back control and grow closer to your partner. Remember, small changes can add up to big improvements over time.

If you feel like your anxiety is still weighing heavy on your relationship, consider seeking professional support. Resurface Connect offers virtual mental health treatment tailored to your needs. Talking to a professional can help lighten the load while giving you tools to feel more confident in both managing your anxiety and nurturing your relationship.